Personal Changes for 2018

A new year does not mean a new you! There is no way that in a couple of months you can change everything about yourself. You can't suddenly join the gym and lose all of that Christmas weight by the end of January. Everything takes time. It's like that moment when you start something new; whether that is a new school, university or a new job, we all think it is our opportunity to change the things we don't like about ourselves and become the person we wish we were. This might work for a couple of weeks but are you really introducing people to the person you are? No. Eventually the facade of being super organised and polite ends and the true you comes out. Personally I think change to your characteristics happens through experience and a new year is not an experience. There is nothing to be learnt from a new year other than perhaps you shouldn't drink that much again.

As you can probably tell I don't take the new year to mean a new me, I use it as an opportunity to consider the ways I would like to change the current me over time. 2017 was a year which I won't look back on as one of the best, to be honest it was a struggle and I'm glad to see the back of it. I do not want this year to be the same so I took the new year as my chance to consider what I would like to work towards so I don't feel quite as stuck and unsure as I was in 2017. Last year I felt trapped by everything, as if I had nothing to work towards and this year I do have a small list of things I want to do. I've reasoned with myself, I don't have to complete them but as long as I've worked towards them, then I'm doing something. I don't share much of my personal life on my blog as it is a beauty blog but I felt like sharing this. I think is important, at a time when everyone is talking about their resolutions, to realise that you don't have to confine yourself to the start of a new year to make a change but it is a good place to start.


1. Read More, Internet Less

After I finished my degree, I never wanted to look at a book again! I remember before University everyone said pick a subject you enjoy because by the end of it, no matter how much you love it you will end up hating it. Reading had once been my escape but during my degree it had become a chore and I no longer saw the enjoyment in reading. In my final year I was essentially expected to read a book a week, which is a shit ton of words over the course of a year. I couldn't read a book without mentally taking it apart and picking out the bits I would have written about during my degree. All of this contributed to me putting a stop to reading. For a good two years I barely read. I might have finished two books over that time. Since then I have slowly been getting back into it and this year I really want to find my love of reading again. To revisit my love of literature, I have gone back to the start.

One of the first books I read that made me appreciate literature was To Kill a Mockingbird. It gave me all of the feels and that encouraged me to find that feeling in other books so I am reading it again now. Once a week I am trying to do an hours reading to take me away from the internet and to take time doing something I enjoy. Like most people, I actually hate the internet, I think social media can make you feel shit about yourself and it is important to remember that not everyone shares the bad stuff. My blog is an example of this, I never write about the crap going on in my life so I want to take myself way from this and take a moment for myself.


2. Do Things that get me closer to my Job Goals.

Last year I spent a lot of time complaining that I wasn't doing my dream job but I wasn't doing anything to further my career. I am seriously under qualified to be a beauty editor and it is something thousands of other girls want to be. There is nothing to make me stand out from other people on my CV and my winning personality doesn't quite come across in writing. This year I want to do things which will help me get to where I want to be, this includes studying some more and hopefully interning. I applied for a few internships last year and one thing really baffled me, companies want you to have had experience of interning before you intern? Isn't the whole point of an internship to get experience? As always sense seems to have escaped the people who are higher up in companies who don't really want to give you a chance. The world we live in is not one of chance or opportunity but one of proving your worth. This year I hope to get my elusive internship and I want to enroll in a course, an adult course which I can do alongside work. Doing something like a course would factor into my next aim.


3. Break That Comfort Zone

I have a cushy life, it has its problems but I function on a day-to-day basis without too many real hardships. This is because I have a comfort zone which enables me to have little to worry about. This safety net, as great as it is, stops me from doing so much. Even simple things like an adult course or doing too much by myself. I am a 24 year old who misses out on doing a lot because it makes me worry of failure. Obviously this is something that will take time to beat and it is definitely not helped by my anxiety but it is something I want to do. Even if it is a simple thing that I wouldn't have done last year, that would be a victory in my eyes!


4. Take Note of the Good Things

I have come to terms with the fact that I am quite a negative person. I tend to dwell on the things that go wrong rather than the positives that come out of a situation. It is just who I am and I don't think anything can change that. However this year I do want to make my world a little bit more positive so I am going to try writing 2-3 things a day that have been positive or that have made me happy, so even when everything seems shit some good can come out of it. In addition to this I also want to take a single picture or a 1 second clip each day so that at the end of the year I can compile them together and get an overall view of the things I have enjoyed. So far taking a picture each day has been surprisingly hard but I am trying! However for the past few weeks I have found that writing down a positive each day has really helped in the way that I look at situations.


5. Confidence is Key

Taking a picture every day also factors into my next goal, I want to feel more confident. Personally I couldn't give a shit what others think of me but when I start to waver on my own opinion of myself that is when I struggle and I am currently struggling. Last year was a struggle for my confidence but this year I want to bring it back! Oddly starting with selfies. I was never one to shy away from a camera but last year I was that person. This year I want to be able to take pictures of myself and feel averagely happy about the way I look and more importantly feel confident enough to put pictures of my face on my blog. I know it has been something that has been missing from my make up posts for a long time but I haven't felt happy about including them but this year I want this to change.


6. The Coffee Fund

I am a coffee addict and I have a problem. I do only limit myself to one a day but that one a day is from Starbucks which costs quite a bit of money. Previously I have justified this to myself by saying it was my treat to get me through the day, see I was already setting myself up to be negative at the start of the day. People have always complained at me saying 'think of all of the money you waste on buying coffee, can't you just make it?' Well it's not the same ok guys. People smoke and spend a ridiculous amount of money on that so why can't I have my coffee? This year I am trying to change this mind set.

I started drinking coffee everyday when I worked in retail and at the time I had no way of making/keeping hot drinks whilst I was working so I had to buy coffee but now I work in an office and we have kettles. When I first started drinking coffee I didn't think anything of it but now I see how grumpy I am when I haven't had my coffee and how it affects my mood. This year is all about sorting out my mental health and I do not think coffee helps in the slightest so I am trying to kick the habit. To help me do this I have set up a savings account and the money that I would spend on coffee each day now goes into it. It doesn't look like a lot at the moment but hopefully by the end of the year it will be enough to buy myself something luxury. I just need that little bit of motivation to kick the habit and I think this could be it.

I realise most of these are life goals and they aren't problems I can work on within a set amount of time but eventually I hope to get to a place where I am at least content with all of these problems. I wanted to share all of this with you so you know an actual human is behind this blog and I imagine you might share some of these problems too. It is always nice to know others have the same worries because it isn't always easy to see that on social media. I know this is quite a different post for me so if you have enjoyed it, please let me know either in a comment or on Twitter, SophaaRambles

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